Zapada si in Amsterdam






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Past, Present, Future

​ ​    Uokey! Here I go again. Babbling and rambling like an old washing machine fully affected by calcareous water still wanting to go ahead to clean those wanna be pristine thoughts by softening them with some brainy waves activity.    Sometimes a  few spikes will reborn and my inside only bulb with light on with a few more ideas. In this modern times my bulb doesn't waste much energy  and most probably that is not a really good idea. I understand that is cost effective but not everything needs to be downsized for more gains or for the economy. You need an effervescent energy  from your own bulb to make you boil under your own skin, inundating you with wants and needs darkening your  vicious circles, sizzling your neurons like butter in a small pan awaiting for some light seasoning so your existence will be a little more flavored.  This buttering experience would eventually melt you down and cause a stirring sensation within you tha...
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Insomnia- Timpul trece si somnul nu mai vine!

  Se apropie ora de culcare. Desi nu simt ca mi-ar fi somn totusi casc de ceva minute bune. Pare a fi un semn bun si de fiecare data, ma las pacalita. Imi las usor storul la jumatatea ferestrelor pentru a nu face bezna in toata camera. Nu suport sa fie atat de intuneric. Cateodata am senzatia ca vad monstrii sub forma unor umbre ce se ascund pe dupa perdea. Ma asez usor in pat, incerc sa-mi gasesc pozitia. Cica, de la 16 saptamani de sarcina, nu este bine sa stai pe spate ci ori pe stanga ori pe dreapta. Imi modelez cu migala dopurile, le rotesc bine intre buricele degetelor  si le asez pe fiecare, ca intr-un ritual bine stabilit, una in urechea stanga si una in urechea dreapta. Niciodata nu am facut invers. Incerc totusi sa stau pe burta pentru cateva minute cu mainile impreunate pe piept pentru a-mi simti respiratia. A. se aseaza si el, nu are probleme cu somnul. Nu stiu cum face sa adoarma in 5 minute. Il invidiez. Nici cand aveam zilele ocupate nu reuseam sa adorm in 5 mi...
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Notes to myself and for everyone who's bored

​ ​​ I always thought writing in my own language, after living many years outside Romania, felt so unattainable. I'll substitute Romanian words with English words and I wouldn't know what I want to say in the end. Don't get me wrong I don't have much fluency to exercise such a desire but..still dreaming about writing something, a book perhaps?! Ha! Look at me already dreaming of  the appearance of such a book...my book. Yep, nonsense that's what it is. Why not a leaflet to post it to my neighbors instead?! Much attainable, right? I always always felt deep inside me a real hunger for writing.  Sometimes I come up with pretty good chunks of phrases, expressions or crazy ideas. I would have loved to dive into them but I would get lost. I am not very good at inventing stories nor did I try. But every time I want to write something I get stuck. Tried recording my own voice but it felt weird, strange, like that voice is not mine or it didn't feel authentic enou...
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