Past, Present, Future

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   Uokey! Here I go again. Babbling and rambling like an old washing machine fully affected by calcareous water still wanting to go ahead to clean those wanna be pristine thoughts by softening them with some brainy waves activity.

   Sometimes a  few spikes will reborn and my inside only bulb with light on with a few more ideas. In this modern times my bulb doesn't waste much energy  and most probably that is not a really good idea. I understand that is cost effective but not everything needs to be downsized for more gains or for the economy. You need an effervescent energy  from your own bulb to make you boil under your own skin, inundating you with wants and needs darkening your  vicious circles, sizzling your neurons like butter in a small pan awaiting for some light seasoning so your existence will be a little more flavored.  This buttering experience would eventually melt you down and cause a stirring sensation within you that will make your own self rise above the surface, above that fine line where you need to grasp for some air and see clearly just for a few seconds that all the old stories that you were believing in are not true anymore. Never were! Nothing stays the same.  There is a pretty true saying that our cause of suffering is the stories that our mind wants us to believe in. Why?  Because we need a lot of fear in our lives to assure our  survival in a pool of good and bad genes.  Survival of the fittest or of the maddest . But this fear is causing us anxiety, depression, is giving us the idea that we need justice, we need closure on something, we need  detachment   from others.  Our continuous clinginess on things and people is causing us all the sorrowness.

Going back in the past every day without even being aware that your thoughts threw you in a swirl of meaningless past  actions and feelings you might actually notice in your heart that what you feel is very real. If it's real it might also be true. If it's true it needs to be resolved somehow. Most of the times we must be at ease with the fact that a solution, whatever might be, is not doing us much of a favor.

You bring in, in the moment present the same fear you had it, the same sorrow, the same suffering, the same old tears. Or we project everything else into the future, wanting to control people, thoughts, emotions, to repress feelings.  Or we might want to hold on to those happy moments that we think we are so entitled to own them and feel them for as long as we can. It's like being a junkie begging for more dopamine, Pavlov's dog or a trap mouse pressing on the sugary tab wanting to indulge his own sweet tooth until death comes. Nothing satisfies us anymore. Those fleeting moments of peace and serenity and joyfulness we will strongly deny their freedom.

Living the present moment exactly as it is will open the door for a new range of feelings, for self-compassion,gentleness towards our experiences, seriousness that the pain is real and is ours so we might treat ourselves with more kindness. There is no suffering in the "now". There is a term known as neuroplasticity where we can train our mind as you treat your muscles for a marathon.  We can shape our brain and make him believe that we had enough of our past times, we projected enough fear to make our arteries explode with blood clots and stress , and we stop from desiring the most green grass of our neighbors.

The exercise its  simple but it needs to be done on a daily basis:  every time you notice that you get caught up in a bad storm of thoughts and feelings you acknowledge slowly and without judgemental  by placing a label on that emotional package of yours with "just thinking" and you divert your attention on breathing, on  bodily sensations, or on  the activity that you were doing. If it's too painful to you, again, without any criticism you place your hand on the heart and say "this will pass too". You are not fleeting the experience, you are not trying to escape from it just be with the pain as it is.  What could possibly go wrong if you stay with the pain?  You might feel jealousy? Guiltiness? Those are normal feelings and we shouldn't be ashamed that we have them. They are important coordinates on our time compass.  We learn from them or we might  correct future actions or maybe we pass on to our kids an important lesson. No feeling, good or bad, deserves criticism or a banish sentence from our lives.  It's more important to stay true to yourself than complying and fitting in some definition of what we should feel and do. 

I will end my babbling with a nice saying:

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be"